Sneak peek: Looking for an Elf on the Shelf alternative that teaches positive lessons? Some ideas to consider that focus on kindness.
As parents, I think one of our main goals is to raise kids who care for others. But, guess what? Our kids don’t always get that message. Several surveys have now shown us that, despite our words, kids think we value other things over kindness. Results from this year’s Highlights State of the Kid report illustrate this:
– Almost half of the kids surveyed (44%) said they think their parents’ top priority is their happiness
– 33% of kids thought doing well in school was their parents’ top priority for them
– Only 23% of kids said that they thought being kind was their parents’ top priority for them
In other words, it seems like there is a gap in what we think we are communicating to our kids and what they are hearing.
Kids are hearing that we want them to be happy and achieve more than we want them to be kind.
Key Takeaways
Looking for an alternative to Elf on the Shelf? Consider starting a Kindness Elf tradition. Instead of having a character monitor children’s behavior for Santa, Kindness Elves can encourage simple acts of kindness, giving, and service throughout the holiday season. Create a meaningful Christmas tradition without adding elaborate nightly setups.
Kindness Builds True Happiness
Of course, we parents know that being kind and being happy are not mutually exclusive. They go hand in hand. As study author Christine French Cully points out,
“Maybe part of the message we aren’t always sending to our kids is that yes, we want you to be happy, but part of being happy means thinking about the needs of others sometimes.”
We know from experience that being kind actually makes us feel happier. Now research is backing this up too. New studies show that compassionate or kind acts do spark connections in the brain that promote feelings of pleasure and happiness.
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Related Reading: Social-Emotional Development in Kids: A Parent’s Guide
An Elf on the Shelf Alternative
The holiday season is just about upon us. This is a perfect time to help our kids see, in a lovely hands-on way, how kindness builds on itself. The Kindness Elves are a wonderful alternative to Elf on the Shelf to help our kids do this.
Let’s face it, the Elf on the Shelf is a popular holiday tradition, but what does it really teach? I don’t want to get too serious here, but really this tradition focuses on encouraging good behavior as a way of avoiding negative outcomes (no toys!). In other words, fear becomes the motivating force here. Kids want to do good for fear of getting no presents at Christmas. Deep down, we know (and research backs it up) that fear is not really an effective long-term strategy for teaching moral lessons. As this great article points out, we want to “raise a good person, not just one who’s afraid of being bad.”
Related reading: Super Simple, Research-Backed Ways to Raise a Thankful Child
An easy way to begin is to read The Story of the Kindness Elves together as a family. This sweet story tells their backstory and sets the stage for the activities.
Next, find your choice of Kindness Elves. The original versions are no longer for sale, but there are many good alternatives.
Neutral colors yarn kindness elves
The same goes for the kindness cards. You can make your own, or use a set like this:
These give you and your kids ideas for doing acts of kindness throughout the season, such as donating socks to a homeless shelter or having a canned food drive. The best part is that the kindness ideas and cute cards are already done for you. No searching Pinterest to find ideas each day.
Simple Kindness Elf Activity Ideas
Need ideas for starting a Kindness Elf tradition in your family? I did all the work for you! Simply download this set of 24 Kindness Elf Activity Cards from my Etsy store.
The set includes one card for each of the 24 days leading up to Christmas. Just download and print!
We started introducing the Kindness Elves a couple of years ago in my house. The boys love it! In fact, my 8-year-old asks when “Elfie” is coming back each year. The acts of kindness are simple but meaningful. We also have a lot of fun figuring out where in the house Elfie hid each night while we were sleeping.
FAQ About Elf on the Shelf Alternatives
A Kindness Elf is one option for families who want a Christmas tradition centered on kindness and giving rather than monitoring behavior. You can use a doll, stuffed animal, or homemade character, or choose a completely different family tradition.
Kindness Elves are a holiday tradition that encourages children to practice kindness and generosity through simple activities or acts of service. Families can adapt the idea to their own routines and don’t need elaborate setups.
Choose a small character, explain its kindness-focused purpose, and prepare a few simple activities. You can introduce it in December and adapt the routine to work for your family.
Related posts:
Nature and Nurture: The Origins of Compassion
Katie
What a great idea! I think we will do this with our elf!
Keitha
Our elf started visiting when my son was in Kindergarten. He is not an Elf on the Shelf elf. I thought it was damaging to have an elf for small children that could not be touched. Our Elf, Cutesy, was constantly played with during the holidays. Cutesy is for fun and a bit of learning. He often left educational or motor skills activities. My son is now 13, last year the elf left him a crack-the-code algebra sheet. I filled our advent calendar with activities of kindness and traditions – make a gift for the librarians, donate toys, send cards to military or kids in hospitals, etc. There are so many ways to celebrate the season. I like that your elves are kind.