How I Became a Happier Stay-at-Home Mom {by focusing on 3 simple things}

Sneak peek: Focusing on 3 aspects of my stay-at-home mom routine has made all the difference in making daily life more engaging for me and my kids

I still vividly remember the day my husband went back to work after the birth of our first son. It was my first day at home with my newborn son…all alone. I was nervous, sleep-deprived, and still getting to know this little bundle whom I loved dearly.

BUT, he cried a lot. Would I be able to calm him without breaking down into tears myself? Would we be able to make it out to the grocery store on our own?

It seems silly to me now, but if you flash back to those moments, you may have felt similar. I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but how do I do this new role? How do I organize a stay-at-home mom routine that keeps my son content (and me feeling good)?

Like many stay-at-home moms, I was more accustomed to desks than diapers. I had spent the past 10 years either working in the non-profit world or in grad school. My schedule was my own, I had meetings, I wrote papers, and I did research.

How do I now drop that part of my life and focus all my attention on this tiny bundle of need and tears? I loved him dearly, but I was a little lost.

Over time, of course, we found our way. It took much of the first year for both of us to figure out our new world—together. Babies change so frequently in that first year, that just as soon as I thought I had our routine figured out, he would change. With some reading and reflection, I soon began to focus on 3 primary areas in my stay-at-home mom routine and this helped immensely: activities, identity, and self-care.

Stay at Home Mom Schedule with an Infant

To be honest, in those early months, there aren’t many activities you can really do with a newborn. The same is true with having a schedule. Newborns or infants don’t really follow a schedule or routine until they are closer to a year old. It’s usually pointless to attempt to adhere to a strict schedule with an infant. However, my son (and most babies) do find ways to make their preferences known. Allow this to be your guide as far as how you spend your time with your baby during the day.

Bouncing/Walking

My son loved bouncing! Bouncing in the infant bouncy seat and bouncing while strapped to my chest in an infant carrier. Walking also worked well, as long as he was attached to me; not in a stroller. It was pretty much the only thing that calmed him when he got into fussy periods.

Talking

Most babies love hearing your voice. It doesn’t really matter what you talk about, just talking helps their brain come alive. It also helps you and your baby get “in sync.” Synchronicity is one of the key emotional skills that are developing in the first few months. The more you are in sync with your baby, the easier it will be for you to respond to their needs.

Reading

Some parents may feel weird reading to a young baby since they can’t really respond or even focus on the page. However, research shows that even babies benefit from hearing books read to them. Check out this post for baby books that boost brain development.

Related reading: Classic Books for Babies that Boost Brain Development

Stay at Home Mom Identity

Over the years, I’ve figured out that self-care is not just about pedicures and spa days. It’s about figuring out what fills you up, what helps you keep your boundaries in place and your mind clear. Self-care looks different for everyone. Here are just a few ideas but it might look completely different for you:

• reading while the kids nap
• going for a run with the toddler in the stroller
• chatting with friends in real life (or sending a card instead of a text)
• listening to a podcast in the car instead of Wheels on the Bus
• saying “no” to too many commitments or outings