Sneak peek: Learn how to choose age-appropriate toys that support child development, encourage open-ended play, and keep kids engaged long-term.
I’ll be honest—last Christmas we made a big mistake. We bought our boys toys that were not great choices. There’s no sugar-coating it; we just did. We thought we knew how to choose toys for a gift, but looking back, they were less-than-stellar choices.
We had thought about what to get them, but in the end, we sort of caved to last-minute pressure. Although I have book knowledge about guided play and child development, we still chose items that were too much, too short-lived, and not long-lasting.
First, there was the gigantic Lego set that our older son so loved, but it was such a task to put it together that he swore never to take it apart again. So now it sits, lonely and untouched, on his dresser. Now, don’t get me wrong, we LOVE Legos in our house. They foster such imagination and spatial skills like no other toy. But if the set is never used again, its use becomes limited.
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Then there was the slot car track we thought our younger son would love. He did like it…for about a week. Then the fascination of racing cars with friends or his brother wore off. It took up an insane amount of space in our playroom, so we dismantled it, and it hasn’t been used since.
Does this sound familiar?
Even with all my training in child development, choosing toys for a gift for your children is still challenging at times. It’s difficult to balance what they actually want (or what’s trendy) with what you know to be better choices based on your values. We try not to foster too much consumerism in our home, but it is difficult to turn down those pleas for the “cool” toy that all their friends are supposedly getting. As parents, we are often motivated by noble intentions—we want to see those smiles and excitement on our kids’ faces when they open that gift. It’s often hard to remember that those smiles are often short-lived if the gift choice is not made in a thoughtful way. Choosing age-appropriate toys for long-term interest is key.
Choosing age-appropriate toys for kids can feel overwhelming. The best toys support child development, encourage open-ended play, and hold children’s interest beyond the first few days. This guide explains how to choose developmental toys for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary-age children using child development research.
How to Choose the Best Toys for Kids
It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new toy—especially when it’s beautifully packaged, heavily advertised, or promises educational benefits. But many toys that initially capture a child’s attention end up forgotten within days.
When choosing age-appropriate toys for your child, it can help to pause and ask a few simple questions before buying.
A Simple Toy Selection Checklist
Before purchasing a toy, ask yourself:
- Does this toy encourage imagination or creativity?
- Can it be used in more than one way?
- Will it grow with my child over time?
- Does it encourage active play instead of passive entertainment?
- Is it appropriate for my child’s developmental stage?
- Does it match my child’s genuine interests?
- Will this toy encourage connection, conversation, or problem-solving?
- Is it likely to hold my child’s attention beyond the first few days?
- Does it add value to our home, or simply add clutter?
In general, the toys children return to again and again are often the simplest ones: blocks, dress-up clothes, art supplies, dolls, toy animals, building materials, balls, pretend play items, and open-ended materials that allow children to direct the play themselves.
These types of toys tend to support creativity, independence, language development, problem-solving, and emotional growth in ways that flashy, single-purpose toys often do not.
The goal isn’t to buy more toys. It’s to choose toys thoughtfully—so the toys we bring into our homes truly support how children learn, play, and grow
Toys by Age
As adults, we have the emotional maturity (at least most of the time) to look past the toy fads and make more thoughtful picks when deciding how to choose toys for a gift. This is where research can really help us. Surprisingly, quite a few studies have considered the role that specific types of toys have on developing children’s brains and skill development. Here are a few things to keep in mind when choosing the best toys by age:
Baby Toys (birth to age 1)
Limit electronic toys. Electronic toys tend to be overstimulating for babies, and they don’t have the brain development to understand all the beeping and flashing. Research has shown that traditional toys foster more interaction with caregivers and promote language development better than electronic toys. Open-ended toys for babies are best for brain development.
Traditional baby toys we love
High-contrast colors. For the youngest babies, high-contrast colors are helpful because their eyes don’t have full access to colors until about 5 months of age.
Board books are key. Little ones LOVE the sound of your voice. In fact, you are an infant’s best “toy” by far. Research tells us that certain books help foster language development more readily than others. Any reading, however, is great for babies’ brains. See my full list of the best books for babies.
Best Toys for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Foster pretend play. All that dress-up play, playing grocery store and doctor’s office, is wonderful for young kids’ developing brains. Pretend play is one of the best ways to help kids develop social-emotional skills since they have to stay “in character” and model the emotions of another person.
Little versions. Kids at this age love to copy the actions of adults in their lives. This is wonderful for skill-building and social-emotional skills as well. Foster this type of play by choosing kid-size versions of adult tools—toy vacuum, mops, rakes, cleaning tools, play kitchens, and even kid-size tools are all great for this type of play.
Focus on basic skills. Toddlers are still learning some basic eye-hand coordination skills like pouring, filling, and stacking. This comes in handy when considering how to choose toys for a gift. Support this aspect of development by choosing toys that encourage these skills. Open-ended toys for toddlers, like blocks, pitchers, and sand-water tables, are all great examples of toys that foster basic skills.
Related reading: Best Toddler Toys for Learning and Development
Best Developmental Toys for Elementary-Age Kids
As children start school and progress through elementary grades, their toy interests change. They have mastered many of the basic skills of stacking, pouring, and pretend play may be waning. Kids of this age are ready for more challenge and creativity in their toys. Now that they are well-versed in playing cooperatively (or perhaps competitively too) with friends, games and sports also become more interesting.
Why Open-Ended Toys Are Better for Child Development
Some of the best toys for children are often the simplest ones.
Open-ended toys can be used in many different ways. Instead of directing the play, they encourage children to use their imagination, creativity, and problem-solving skills. Blocks can become a castle, a road, or a zoo. Dress-up clothes can turn into costumes, forts, or props for storytelling.
This kind of play supports healthy child development in powerful ways.
Open-ended toys encourage:
- creativity and imagination
- problem-solving skills
- language development
- independent play
- executive functioning skills like planning and flexibility
Unlike toys with only one purpose, open-ended toys tend to grow with children and hold their attention longer over time.
They also create space for deeper, more meaningful play. Children are not simply being entertained—they are building, experimenting, storytelling, negotiating, and learning through experience.
In many cases, the toys children return to most are not the loudest or trendiest toys, but the ones that allow them to direct the play themselves.
Building toys. Open-ended toys are still great at these older ages as well. Legos, of course, are the ultimate building toy for elementary-age kids but there are other great choices too. With more advanced fine motor skills, kids ages 7+ can really do some elaborate building.
Sports gear. Although I’m not a huge fan of organized sports, I have seen their appeal in my own kids, especially as they reach older ages (8+). Kids this age have a lot of energy and sports are a great way for them to use that energy in a focused, fun way. Sports can also teach great lessons about teamwork, cooperation and humility.
(This one has held up for years of use with my son)
Board games
Once kids reach elementary school, board games become a lot more fun for them (and you). Now that they are beyond the Candyland years, parents and kids can really enjoy family game night with more complex games. We still love the classics like chess and Monopoly in our house, but there are some wonderful newer games available too. Want to find some games that foster cooperation more than competition? See my list of games that foster cooperation.
Otrio (strategy game)
Frequently Asked Questions About Age-Appropriate Toys
Age-appropriate toys are toys that match a child’s developmental stage, interests, and abilities. The best toys challenge children just enough without causing frustration or overstimulation.
Toys that allow children to direct the play themselves often hold their attention the longest. Building toys, pretend play materials, art supplies, and outdoor toys tend to grow with children over time.
Children generally need fewer toys than we think. A smaller collection of thoughtfully chosen toys often leads to deeper, more creative play than an overwhelming number of options.
Look for toys that encourage open-ended play, match your child’s interests, and can be used in multiple ways. Avoid toys that are overly scripted, highly passive, or only entertaining for a short time.
The best toys are rarely the loudest, trendiest, or most expensive. Toys that support imagination, creativity, movement, and connection tend to hold children’s attention the longest and provide the greatest developmental value. When we choose toys thoughtfully, we aren’t just buying entertainment—we’re supporting how children learn.
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clare
oh i love the kindness elves recommendation thank you!
peter clark
Wonderful ideas!! Thank you
Ellie Davis
I loved that you mentioned you need to read the labels when looking for a toy to make sure it is appropriate for its age. My husband was thinking about buying new toys for our kids, and we are looking for advice to choose the right type. I will let him know about your recommendations to choose the right toys for our children.