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{Choosing age-appropriate toys for your children that they will actually like is not always easy. Using a few child development hints, you can choose items that your kids will love for years}
I’ll be honest–last Christmas we made a big mistake. We bought our boys toys that were bad choices. There’s no sugar-coating it, we just did. We thought we had chose great age-appropriate toys, but looking back, they were not so great.
We had thought about what to get them, but in the end, we sort of caved to last-minute pressure. Although I know the book knowledge about guided play and toddler development, we still chose items that were too much, too short-lived, and not well-chosen.
First, there was the gigantic Lego set that our older son loved, but it was such a task to put it together that he swore never to take it apart again. So now it sits, lonely and untouched, on his dresser. Now, don’t get me wrong, we LOVE Legos in our house. They foster such imagination and build spatial skills like no other toy, but if they are not taken apart and used again, their use becomes limited.
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Then there was the slot car track we thought our younger son would love. He did like it…for about a week. Then the fascination of racing cars with friends or his brother wore off. It took up an insane about of space in our playroom so we dismantled it and it hasn’t been used since.
Does this sound familiar?
Even with all my training in child development, choosing toys for your children is still challenging at times. It’s difficult to balance what they actually want (or what’s trendy) with what you know to be better choices based on your values. We try not to foster too much consumerism in our home, but it is difficult to turn down those pleas for the “cool” toy that all their friends are supposedly getting. As parents, we are often motivated by noble intentions—we want to see those smiles and excitement on our kids’ faces when they open that gift. It’s often hard to remember that those smiles are often short-lived if the gift choice is not made in a thoughtful way.
The Research Behind Toy Fads
Every holiday season there is always a couple of toys that become the “must have” item of the year. I’ve often wondered why this happens, so I did a little digging into the research.
Herd Mentality
As you might expect, our human tendency towards a herd mentality is part of this. Kids want to fit in and if having the coveted item helps them with this goal, it goes to the top of their list. Social psychologists explain that people can’t be experts at everything so they use a short-cut of trusting certain people’s evaluations of items or circumstances. These “influencers” become the people that adults or kids listen to on certain topics. For kids, this might be a good friend or popular kid at school; for adults, this might be a celebrity or trusted friend.
While herd mentality is not always a negative feature of human nature, it can become problematic for kids if it limits their ability to think independently and make their own choices. This is where having a strong-willed child is a real positive. If we parents can foster our kids’ strong-willed nature so they learn to use it in a positive way to resist social pressures, it will be a huge benefit for them long-term.
The Appeal of Novelty
The other main reason why kids love those fad toys is the sheer novelty. All kids, especially our youngest ones, are naturally drawn to things that are original and novel. Without the mental maturity of adults, kids are inherently fascinated by items they haven’t seen before. Combined with the fact that most young kids don’t have great skills at delayed gratification, this novelty soon becomes an irresistible desire.
Why Is It Important to Choose Toys That are Appropriate for a Child’s Developmental Age?
As I’ve said many times on this blog, play is the engine of learning in early childhood. Play-based learning is the primary way kids learn when they are young. Little kids really don’t absorb a lot from worksheets or being lectured at for long periods.
Thus, finding age-appropriate toys can really play an important role in learning…and fun. Here are a few things to consider when thinking about why it’s important to choose toys that are appropriate for a child’s developmental age:
Safety. This seems like an obvious concern, but every year toys are taken off the market because they are found to be unsafe. It’s helpful to take a look at the age guidelines on the toy package, but also consider the abilities and habits of your individual child.
For example, if a toy is labeled 3+, then the manufacturers usually assume kids are past the age of putting items in their mouths. However, if you know that your child tends to put things in their mouth frequently, then small items are not the best choice. Most choices are simple common sense but it never hurts to reiterate safety issues.
Interest. Choosing a toy that your child is interested in seems obvious too, however, this can often be challenging. Depending on your child’s age, their interest might be short-lived or they may only be interested in the toy because it’s this year’s fad. Take some time to understand why they like a certain toy on their list and if you think it will have long term value. In the end, this could save you a lot of disappointment (and money).
Learning. Not all toys have to be “educational” but it is worth considering the long-term developmental benefits of any toy you might consider choosing for your child. Most child development experts agree that “open-ended” toys tend to have the best developmental value for kids. Open-ended simply means that the child has to use their imagination or skill to work with the toy. These types of toys can be used in multiple ways and there are usually no “rules” for how to use them. It’s not a simple “push the button, it makes a sound” kind of toy. Open-ended toys include things like blocks, building toys, pretend play items, Montessori-inspired toys, fabrics, and of course, cardboard boxes, loose parts and spoons, cups and bowls.
Age-Appropriate Toys for Each Age
As adults, we have the emotional maturity (at least most of the time) to look past the toy fads and make more thoughtful decisions when purchasing toys for our kids. This is where research can really help us. Surprisingly, quite a few studies have considered the role that specific types of toys have on developing children’s brains and skill development. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Age-Appropriate Baby Toys (Birth-Age 1)
Limit electronic toys. They tend to be overstimulating for babies and they don’t have the brain development to understand all the beeping and flashing. Research has shown that traditional toys foster more interaction with caregivers and promote language development better than electronic toys.
Traditional baby toys we love
High-contrast colors. For the youngest babies, high-contrast colors are helpful because their eyes don’t have full access to colors until about 5 months of age.
Board books are key. Little ones LOVE the sound of your voice. In fact, you are an infant’s best “toy” by far. Research tells us that certain books help foster language development more readily than others. Any reading, however, is great for babies’ brains. See my full list of the best books for babies.
Age-Appropriate Toys for Toddlers and Preschoolers (2-4)
Foster pretend play. All that dress-up play, playing grocery store and doctor’s office is wonderful for young kids’ developing brains. Pretend play is one of the best ways to help kids develop social-emotional skills since they have to stay “in character” and model the emotions of another person.
Little versions. Kids at this age love to copy the actions of adults in their lives. This is wonderful for skill building and social-emotional skills as well. Foster this type of play by choosing kid-size versions of adult tools—toy vacuum, mops, rakes, cleaning tools, play kitchens, and even kid-size tools are all great for this type of play.
Focus on basic skills. Toddlers are still learning some basic eye-hand coordination skills like pouring, filling and stacking. Help this aspect of development by choosing toys that encourage these skills. Items like blocks, pitchers, and sand-water tables are all great examples of toys that foster basic skills.
Age-Appropriate Toys for School-Age Kids
As children start school and progress through elementary grades, their toy interests change. They have mastered many of the basic skills of stacking, pouring, and pretend play may be waning. Kids of this age are ready for more challenge and creativity in their toys. Now that they are well-versed in playing cooperatively (or perhaps competitively too) with friends, games and sports also become more interesting.
Building toys. Open-ended toys are still great at these older ages as well. Legos, of course, are the ultimate building toy for elementary-age kids but there are other great choices too. With more advanced fine motor skills, kids ages 7+ can really do some elaborate building.
Sports gear. Although I’m not a huge fan of organized sports, I have seen their appeal in my own kids, especially as they reach older ages (8+). Kids this age have a lot of energy and sports are a great way for them to use that energy in a focused, fun way. Sports can also teach great lessons about teamwork, cooperation and humility.
Board games. Once kids reach elementary school, board games become a lot more fun for them (and you). Now that they are beyond the Candyland years, parents and kids can really enjoy family game night with more complex games. We still love the classics like chess and Monopoly in our house, but there are some wonderful newer games available too. Want to find some games that foster cooperation more than competition? See my list of games that foster cooperation.
Subscription boxes. In recent years, the subscription box market has exploded. It’s easy to see why these boxes appeal to kids and parents. Kids get the chance to explore new skills or materials each month and parents get an easy gift idea that has endless possibilities. These are a few subscription boxes that would appeal to the 6+ age crowd:
Kiwi Co–My kids love these boxes. They are high-quality and actually allow them to build something they can use and play with! They also have holiday-themed one-time boxes like a motorized ice skating rink and a light-up gingerbread house.
Brick Loot–very cool Lego-themed boxes that include all sorts of Lego goodies. They also carry light kits for existing Lego sets and exclusive sets (like the flux capacitor) that you can’t find anywhere else.
Toy Library–the best idea I’ve seen in years! Rent toys (including Legos, Hot Wheels sets and even American Girl sets) and then send them back when your kids are done. Saves money, space and landfill trash!
Enjoy finding toys that your kids will enjoy for years!
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clare says
oh i love the kindness elves recommendation thank you!