Acts of Kindness for Kids: Foster Empathy in Everyday Life

{Sneak peek: Acts of kindness for kids to help them grow in empathy and emotional intelligence. Research-backed but easy ideas to bring into the daily routine.}

I thought I had done what “good moms” do. I signed the kids up for activities. Baseball, basketball, Cub Scouts…all the “right” things. I helped them set up playdates with their friends.

Then, one day I looked at our schedule.

I had a revelation: I had just set up a world that revolved solely around them. Although my goal was to raise kind kids who helped others and thought about others’ needs, this was not what our schedule showed.

Is there space to think of others? Can we incorporate some simple acts of kindness for kids into our routine? What can I do to help them grow in empathy and emotional intelligence?

I was instantly reminded of the articles I’d read from the Making Caring Common project. My revelation, it seems, is one that researchers have found too. In an eye-opening study of parents and children, they found that while the vast majority of parents say that value kindness in their children, about 80% of the kids in the survey said their parents are more concerned about achievement or happiness than them caring for others.

Kids in the study were 3 times more likely to agree (than disagree) with this statement: “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”

Yikes!

In other words, our words are not translating into action. Our focus on achievement and success is drowning much of what we might be saying about kindness.

It’s a hard realization to face. The core findings of the study are summed up well in its title, “The Children We Mean to Raise.”

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The Science of Kindness

The good news is that altering our path is not hard. Each day we can help foster kindness and bolster our kids’ emotional intelligence. From an early age, kids are wired for kindness. Babies as young as 9 months old gravitate toward the “kind” puppet in lab studies. However, for this mindset to continue, it has to be reinforced as kids grow.

Modeling kindness in our daily lives is one of the best ways to reinforce empathetic thinking. As eloquently pointed out in the book, The Yes Brain, the part of the brain that helps control empathetic thinking is one that can be developed and trained over time. By pointing out the feelings of others and practicing empathetic interactions, this part of the brain becomes stronger in kids.

Even in our high-tech world, emotional interaction and kindness still matter. It makes for a better world, and research also tells us it helps make kids happier and more successful…even in those high-tech jobs. Although coding computers may one day be automated, skills like communication, empathy and emotional intelligence will never be perfectly imitated by a robot. These skills are what make us human.

Easy Kindness Activities

Purpose, not Pressure

It’s easy to forget on a daily basis, but we have a limited amount of time with our kids under our roof. Pointing this out, however, is not about feeling pressure to make things perfect; it’s about making good use of the time we have.

So I put together a collection of easy kindness activities for kids that we can incorporate into our daily routine.