• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer
The Thoughtful Parent

The Thoughtful Parent

A blog that makes child development approachable.

  • Social-Emotional
    • 7 Ways to Teach Your Child About Kindness
    • 4 Powerful Social-Emotional Lessons Kids are Learning During the Pandemic
  • Temperament
    • Seeing the Unique Gift of Your Child’s Temperament
    • Insights for Parents from the Science of Child Temperament
  • Toddler Development
    • Research-Backed Real-Life Strategies to Discipline Kids without Yelling
    • Research-Backed Ways to Thrive Through the Toddler Years
  • Child Development
    • A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the 4 Attachment Styles
    • Child Psychology Classics: The Mirror Test
  • Parent Coaching

Why the Moral Development of Toddlers Matters for All of Us

January 10, 2023 by Amy Webb, Ph.D.
moral development in toddlers

Sneak peek: Research on the moral development of toddlers offers us amazing insight into how perceptive young children really are…and what it means for our social interactions.

We, as parents, all want to encourage the moral development of our children. From a young age, we teach our children to help other people, share their toys, etc. Of course, for very young children, this is often a challenge because they simply lack the cognitive development to be able to understand events from another person’s perspective. Developing this skill is a key aspect of toddler development.

In child psychology, this skill in understanding another person’s perspective is called Theory of Mind. If you’ve never seen the experiment used to “test” this skill, it’s quite fun to watch.

moral development in toddlers

Although the moral development of toddlers is still in its earliest stages, research is showing us that they do have more understanding than we might expect. This research reveals that toddlers as young as 3 years old are quite developed and discriminating in their understanding of others’ intentions and their desire to help (or not help) other people. 

A recent study in Germany considered toddlers understanding of others’ intentions and their subsequent helpful actions toward them. Here’s what they did: children watched several scenarios where adult actors played several roles:

  • helpfulness (taping together a drawing torn by someone else)
  • harmfulness (purposely tearing another person’s drawing)
  • intention to harm (trying to tear another’s drawing but not succeeding)
  • accidental harmfulness (accidentally tearing another person’s drawing)

The children then interacted with the adults in playing a game. The children’s helpfulness toward the adults was gauged by whether or not they gave the adult a missing game piece.

As you might expect, children were helpful to those adults who showed helpfulness in the prior scenario and were not helpful to those adults who were harmful (tearing the drawing). More interestingly, however, was the fact that children were also helpful to those adults who were only accidentally harmful. The children also showed less helpfulness to those adults who had the intention to be harmful in the previous scenario (trying but not succeeding to tear the drawing).

social emotional development

This clearly implies that children as young as 3 can not only differentiate between helpful and harmful actions but can also distinguish others’ intentions. This may not seem like a big milestone on the surface, but when you think about it, understanding someone else’s intentions is a very important skill as a human being. 

You may also enjoy: Social-Emotional Development: The Ultimate Guide for Parents

Why is the Moral Development of Toddlers Important?

Social interaction is one of the main ways we as humans advance our civilization. Working and cooperating with others is not only a moral skill, it is crucial to our survival at the most basic level. We don’t often think of this in our high-tech society but working with other people is a basic part of our existence. One key aspect of working with other people is understanding their intentions towards us and others. 

Humans’ social interaction can be very complex and subtle. It is amazing that children as young as 3 can understand this complex world and be very savvy about who has good and bad intentions.

parent and child holding hands

The Beginnings of Empathy

This study into the moral development of toddlers gives us insight into the inner workings of our little ones’ brains. The development of emotional skills and moral understandings of the world around them begins early. Studies like these relate well to what we know about the development of prosocial skills like empathy, cooperation and compromise. Although it is true that toddlers have to reach a certain level of cognitive development in order to understand the perspective and feelings of others, there are things we can do to help foster these skills.

  1. Don’t be afraid to discuss emotions. In generations past, many parents shied away from discussions of “touchy-feely” topics like emotions. Today we know that the more we discuss how others may be feeling, the more our kids are likely to gain that crucial skill of empathy.
  2. Set limits on behavior, not emotions. The distinction between setting boundaries on behavior and punishing emotions is sometimes a subtle one, but a hallmark of positive parenting. Positive parenting focuses on limiting harmful behavior (e.g., hitting, calling names, etc.) but allowing for emotional expression (e.g., crying, sadness, etc.). These often become a tangled mess in the heat of the moment, but the more we can guide and teach our kids to cope with big emotions in healthy ways, the better their emotional skills will become.

Related reading: The Hidden Way That Kids Learn Empathy (and How Parents Can Help)

Kami baby monitor

On a side note, this is probably also important for us parents to understand as well. Our toddlers are very adept at understanding our actions as well. If they think we have good intentions toward them (which hopefully all parents do!), they will be more likely to comply with our requests too.

Related reading: Toddlers Have Big Emotions. Insight from Research on How to Respond

Find this article helpful? Support this blog here: Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

 

Learn more about the development of empathy with this FREE printable guide, The Development of Empathy

Free Empathy Guide

Sign up to receive The Development of Empathy

** PLUS you’ll receive ongoing strategies for confidently nurturing your child’s emotional development

Privacy is a priority. Your email will be kept safe.

 

Loading…

Yay!

Your guide will arrive in your inbox shortly.

 


.

how toddlers thrive

 

the whole brain child

teach emotional skills

 
 
Perfect for Pinning:
 
moral development of toddlers
 
 

 

 
 
 
 




Vaish A, Carpenter M, & Tomasello M (2010). Young children selectively avoid helping people with harmful intentions. Child development, 81 (6), 1661-9 PMID: 21077854

Category: Social-Emotional Development, Toddler DevelopmentTag: growth, moral development, parenting, social-emotional

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stay At Home

    February 14, 2023 at 8:04 pm

    Thank you for such an informative and thought-provoking article about the moral development of toddlers. As a parent, it can be challenging to understand and navigate the complex world of a toddler’s developing moral sense, and your insights were very helpful.

    I appreciated your explanation of the three components of morality: emotional, cognitive, and behavioral. It was interesting to learn how these components work together to form a toddler’s moral framework and to see how these components develop and change over time.

    Your suggestion to use storytelling and imaginative play to teach and reinforce moral values was especially helpful. It’s a creative way to engage toddlers and make abstract concepts more concrete and understandable for them.

    Overall, your article was well-researched and presented in a clear and accessible way. I feel more equipped to understand and support my toddler’s moral development after reading it. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise with us!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Sidebar

Amy Webb
As a mom of two young boys, I've seen first-hand how research-based child development information, combined with intuition, can guide you through your parenting journey. Although I have a Ph.D.in Human Development and Family Sciences, many of my real parenting discoveries have come through my experience. I believe parenting with confidence comes from knowledge; parenting with grace comes from insight. Join me on this parenting journey of learning and discovery

Moms–Preview My New Book!

parenting blog

Get FREE child development texts

Search

Online Course for Moms

stay at home mom course

As seen on

Amazon affiliate links appear on this blog. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases (at no added cost to you).

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Copyright © 2025 · The Thoughtful Parent · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding

Privacy Manager