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The Thoughtful Parent

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Little Boys Need Help with Big Emotions

November 4, 2014 by Amy Webb, Ph.D.
 

If you are a parent of a young boy you know that, despite the cultural stereotypes, boys feel strong emotions just as much as girls. Unfortunately, in our society we often (perhaps unwittingly) encourage boys to hide their emotions or “be a man.” I think more awareness to this issue has emerged in recent years, but it is still an important topic to consider.

New research is shedding light on the importance of helping young children, especially boys, learn how to cope with their powerful emotions. Researchers at the University of Illinois investigated how parents reacted to their toddlers’ negative emotions (e.g., anger and social fearfulness). Two possible parental reactions that were examined included:
 
–  minimizing the child’s emotions (e.g., saying, “stop acting like a baby”)
–  punishing the child for their emotional outburst (e.g., sent to room or having a toy taken away)
 

The results indicated a clear association between parents punishing their child for their emotions and a greater chance of the child being withdrawn or anxious at a later time point. Perhaps most importantly, this finding was stronger for little boys, especially those who experience more frequent negative emotions. Researchers point out that when parents punish children for negative feelings, they soon learn to hide their emotions and can become withdrawn or anxious.

Little Boys Need Help with Big Emotions

As parents of young children, we deal with the negative emotions of our children every day. As an adult, this is mentally and emotionally taxing. Sometimes it may seem easier to punish or scold your child for his or her outburst rather than helping them cope with the emotions.

You may also enjoy: Social-Emotional Development: The Ultimate Guide for Parents

This research clearly shows, however, that remaining calm and talking with your child to help them understand their strong emotions will aid them more in the long term. Toddlers are sometimes overwhelmed by the strength of their emotions and they need our help. We have the opportunity (as challenging as it is) to model for them how to cope with difficult emotions.

 

Related posts:

Lessons Learned from Doing Artwork with Boys

Are Our Boys Failing or are We Failing Our Boys: Research Behind the Boy Achievement Crisis

Language Skills Help Boys Develop Self-Regulation

 

 

Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

ResearchBlogging.orgEngle, J., & McElwain, N. (2011). Parental Reactions to Toddlers’ Negative Emotions and Child Negative Emotionality as Correlates of Problem Behavior at the Age of Three Social Development, 20 (2), 251-271 DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-9507.2010.00583.x

**This post contains affiliate links

Category: Social-Emotional DevelopmentTag: boys, emotions, parenting, self-regulation

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stefanie

    November 5, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    Nicely said! Thanks very much for sharing this! I passed it on to our community this morning. 🙂

    Reply

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Amy Webb
As a mom of two young boys, I've seen first-hand how research-based child development information, combined with intuition, can guide you through your parenting journey. Although I have a Ph.D.in Human Development and Family Sciences, many of my real parenting discoveries have come through my experience. I believe parenting with confidence comes from knowledge; parenting with grace comes from insight. Join me on this parenting journey of learning and discovery

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