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The Thoughtful Parent

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“Difficult” Temperament ≠ A Child Destined for Problems: Sensitive Parenting is Key

April 9, 2009 by Amy Webb, Ph.D.
difficult baby temperament

Sneak peek: Babies with a “difficult” temperament can sometimes pose challenges to parents as they strain our energy and patience. However, research shows us that our loving care really matters for their long-term development

I’ve never had a baby that had what you would call an “easy” temperament. From day one, my boys knew what they liked and made their preferences well known.

Our oldest son virtually never napped in his crib until he was well over 6 months old. The only way he wouldn’t cry for long periods was to be strapped to my chest (or my husband’s) while bouncing on an exercise ball (or walking swiftly).

Our younger son preferred the swing but screamed so loudly upon waking from those brief 45-minute naps that I thought something was physically wrong with him.

Difficult Temperament This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing through these links helps support this blog at no added cost to you.

Difficult Child Temperament Isn’t Destiny

Do you have a baby like this? One that doesn’t quite do all those things you thought babies did? Like sleep a lot or fall asleep on car rides? From a research perspective, babies like this that are extra-sensitive to their surroundings and require a lot more soothing and support from parents have traditionally been labeled as having a “difficult” temperament. While I’m not much for these traditional labels, it is clear that babies have definite temperamental characteristics from a very young age.

Related reading: The Overlooked Aspect of a Child’s Personality That Can Have a Powerful Effect on Your Parenting

Maybe you have a baby with a different temperament. Maybe she’s so laid back you feel like you won the baby jackpot. Maybe he’s the one that doesn’t scream when you take an off-limit item out of his reach. Maybe she’s the one that falls asleep easily. Or maybe she’s the one that doesn’t require baby gates all over the house because she’s content to play in one room.

social emotional development

With a child of either temperament, you may wonder how their temperament will affect their developmental trajectory. Luckily, we have more research coming out that addresses this question.

Researchers from Indiana University wanted to look at how babies with different temperaments (e.g., difficult, easy) ended up doing socially and academically by the time they reached first grade and what, if any, role parenting played in this process.

 
child with difficult temperament

Previously, some people had thought that a baby with a difficult temperament would have more difficulty adjusting to school later in life. These researchers:

  • Studied 1,364 children from birth to first grade, along with their parents.
  • The children were given a temperamental classification (e.g., difficult, easy) at 6 months of age.
  • Mothers’ parenting style was observed several times over the course of the study with areas such as warmth and age-appropriate control being examined.
  • Children’s adjustment to first grade was considered in areas such as academic competence and social skills.

Difficult Temperament

Parenting Matters Most for a Child with a Difficult Temperament

The findings were very enlightening: children who were labeled as having a difficult temperament as infants had as good as or better grades and social skills in first grade as children not labeled as difficult IF their mothers provided good parenting. In other words, parenting matters!

Curious about your child’s temperament? Take the temperament quiz and find out more!childrens temperament quiz

This is probably not a huge surprise to many people, but it’s interesting to see the research to back it up. Not surprisingly, children with difficult temperaments who received less-than-optimal parenting fared worse in first grade than other children.

Related post: More Evidence that “Difficult” Babies are Most Influenced By Parents

Perhaps the most interesting part of the study is the fact that researchers believe that children with difficult temperaments are more sensitive to both positive and negative parenting. That is, they were more likely (than children with non-difficult temperaments) to adjust poorly to first grade if they experienced negative parenting, but they were also more likely to perform well in first grade if they received excellent parenting.

Difficult Temperament child

Although this is just one study, it makes a lot of sense. Children with difficult temperaments are thought to be extra sensitive to the external environment and find it harder to regulate themselves. While this can be challenging for parenting at times, it may also mean that these children are also more sensitive to parents’ interventions and attempts to help them learn to regulate their emotions.

Want to learn more about children’s temperament? Check out this toolkit!
child temperament
Tuning into Temperament
 
I think this study sends an optimistic message to parents. What you do really matters! As if you didn’t know that already. If your child has a difficult temperament, approaching him/her with sensitivity and warmth can make a huge difference.
 
Source: Stright, A. D., Gallagher, K. C., & Kelley, K. (2008). Infant temperament moderates relations between maternal parenting in early childhood and children’s adjustment in first grade. Child Development, 79, 186-200.
 
The press release for this article is here.

Related Resources:

superkids activity guideSuperkids Activity Guide–a great guide for kids with all sorts of temperaments

the whole brain childThe Whole Brain Child

the highly senstive childThe Highly Sensitive Child–the classic go-to resource for parents of sensitive children

 

 
Category: TemperamentTag: babies, child development, emotional, social, temperament, toddlers

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rae Ann

    May 1, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    I have a child with ‘difficult’ temperament. I try to keep in mind that all of the things that make her hard to parent will make her successful later in life. I just have to grit my teeth for a while!

    I’m following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I’m looking forward to reading more!

    Reply
  2. Emily Geizer

    October 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    This research is so interesting, but I would love to understand the specific traits that made people define the babies as difficult. For me it is helpful to think of the nine different traits, especially when I am working with kids.

    Reply
  3. Parenting Style

    October 4, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    This is very encouraging to parents of children with difficult temperament. Thank you for sharing this insightful research result!

    Reply

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Amy Webb
As a mom of two young boys, I've seen first-hand how research-based child development information, combined with intuition, can guide you through your parenting journey. Although I have a Ph.D.in Human Development and Family Sciences, many of my real parenting discoveries have come through my experience. I believe parenting with confidence comes from knowledge; parenting with grace comes from insight. Join me on this parenting journey of learning and discovery

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