Sneak peek: Babies with a “difficult” temperament can sometimes pose challenges to parents as they strain our energy and patience. However, research shows us that our loving care really matters for their long-term development
I’ve never had a baby that had what you would call an “easy” temperament. From day one, my boys knew what they liked and made their preferences well known.
Our oldest son virtually never napped in his crib until he was well over 6 months old. The only way he wouldn’t cry for long periods was to be strapped to my chest (or my husband’s) while bouncing on an exercise ball (or walking swiftly).
Our younger son preferred the swing but screamed so loudly upon waking from those brief 45-minute naps that I thought something was physically wrong with him.
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Difficult Child Temperament Isn’t Destiny
Do you have a baby like this? One that doesn’t quite do all those things you thought babies did? Like sleep a lot or fall asleep on car rides? From a research perspective, babies like this that are extra-sensitive to their surroundings and require a lot more soothing and support from parents have traditionally been labeled as having a “difficult” temperament. While I’m not much for these traditional labels, it is clear that babies have definite temperamental characteristics from a very young age.
Related reading: The Overlooked Aspect of a Child’s Personality That Can Have a Powerful Effect on Your Parenting
Maybe you have a baby with a different temperament. Maybe she’s so laid back you feel like you won the baby jackpot. Maybe he’s the one that doesn’t scream when you take an off-limit item out of his reach. Maybe she’s the one that falls asleep easily. Or maybe she’s the one that doesn’t require baby gates all over the house because she’s content to play in one room.
With a child of either temperament, you may wonder how their temperament will affect their developmental trajectory. Luckily, we have more research coming out that addresses this question.
Researchers from Indiana University wanted to look at how babies with different temperaments (e.g., difficult, easy) ended up doing socially and academically by the time they reached first grade and what, if any, role parenting played in this process.
Previously, some people had thought that a baby with a difficult temperament would have more difficulty adjusting to school later in life. These researchers:
- Studied 1,364 children from birth to first grade, along with their parents.
- The children were given a temperamental classification (e.g., difficult, easy) at 6 months of age.
- Mothers’ parenting style was observed several times over the course of the study with areas such as warmth and age-appropriate control being examined.
- Children’s adjustment to first grade was considered in areas such as academic competence and social skills.
Parenting Matters Most for a Child with a Difficult Temperament
Curious about your child’s temperament? Take the temperament quiz and find out more!
This is probably not a huge surprise to many people, but it’s interesting to see the research to back it up. Not surprisingly, children with difficult temperaments who received less-than-optimal parenting fared worse in first grade than other children.
Related post: More Evidence that “Difficult” Babies are Most Influenced By Parents
Perhaps the most interesting part of the study is the fact that researchers believe that children with difficult temperaments are more sensitive to both positive and negative parenting. That is, they were more likely (than children with non-difficult temperaments) to adjust poorly to first grade if they experienced negative parenting, but they were also more likely to perform well in first grade if they received excellent parenting.
Although this is just one study, it makes a lot of sense. Children with difficult temperaments are thought to be extra sensitive to the external environment and find it harder to regulate themselves. While this can be challenging for parenting at times, it may also mean that these children are also more sensitive to parents’ interventions and attempts to help them learn to regulate their emotions.
Superkids Activity Guide–a great guide for kids with all sorts of temperaments
The Highly Sensitive Child–the classic go-to resource for parents of sensitive children
Rae Ann says
I have a child with ‘difficult’ temperament. I try to keep in mind that all of the things that make her hard to parent will make her successful later in life. I just have to grit my teeth for a while!
I’m following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I’m looking forward to reading more!
Emily Geizer says
This research is so interesting, but I would love to understand the specific traits that made people define the babies as difficult. For me it is helpful to think of the nine different traits, especially when I am working with kids.
Parenting Style says
This is very encouraging to parents of children with difficult temperament. Thank you for sharing this insightful research result!