Sneak peek: Research is helping us see the temperamentally difficult baby in a more positive light. With this research in mind, parents can be encouraged about the future of their child.
If you’re raising a baby who’s intense, hard to soothe, or reactive to every little change, the research is encouraging. Studies show that “difficult” temperament isn’t a fixed trait that determines how your child turns out — it’s more like a dial that makes your child more responsive to the parenting they receive.
Key Takeaways
“Difficult” temperament means a child tends to be more intense, irregular, slow to adapt)
It’s a temperament pattern, not a prediction — difficult babies aren’t destined to become difficult kids
Research shows these babies are more responsive to parenting, for better or worst.
A University of Maryland study followed babies from birth through age 2 and found that irritable infants with secure, responsive parenting grew into more sociable, well-adjusted toddlers than their easygoing peers. The catch: those same babies were also more sensitive to inconsistent or unresponsive care. In other words, “difficult” babies are actually more, for better or worse, by the parenting they get.
One of the classes I remember most from grad school was the child development class in which we learned about children’s temperament. Not having children at the time, I had not thought of babies as having “difficult” or “easy” temperaments. A difficult baby! I thought babies were just cute and cuddly. But then we watched this video and the concept of temperament hit home:
From as early as 9 months old (and even earlier), children have definite temperamental differences.
When I became a parent myself, these temperamental differences became even clearer to me. Both my boys, much like the boy in the video, have persistent, strong-willed temperaments. However, unlike the baby in the video, they are not fearful of much of anything.
I went back to my notes on temperament and found researchers Thomas and Chess’s classic temperament study to try to help me understand my sons.
What Does “Difficult Baby” Mean?
“Difficult baby” isn’t a judgment about your child’s personality, it’s a clinical term from decades-old temperament research. In the 1950s and 60s, researchers Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess studied infants and identified three broad temperament patterns:
- Easy: adapts quickly to new routines, generally positive mood, regular sleeping/eating patterns
- Difficult: intense reactions, irregular sleeping/eating patterns, slow to adapt to change, more likely to react negatively to new people or situations
- Slow to warm up: initially withdraws from new situations but warms up with repeated exposure, milder reactions than a “difficult” baby
Roughly 10% of babies fall into the “difficult” category, with most babies showing some mix of these traits rather than fitting neatly into one box. If your baby cries intensely, resists changes in routine, or reacts strongly to new environments, they may fit this temperament style — and as the research below shows, that’s not a life sentence.
Related reading: Having a cranky baby doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent
As I learned more about their temperament as they grew, I had so many questions about how their temperament might influence their long-term development. Will this persistent, strong-willed temperament help or hinder their development? Is there anything I can do as a parent to guide how their temperament develops?
The Interplay of Temperament and Parenting
After delving into the research, I found a fascinating picture of how a child’s temperament and parenting work together to affect development. Based on the research that is coming out on this topic, it is becoming more and more clear that how a child’s temperament influences his/her later behavior has a lot to do with the quality of the parental relationship. A recent study from the University of Maryland further reiterates this idea:
📋 Key Study Findings
- Who: 84 infants, tracked from birth to age 2
- How irritability was measured: babies’ reactions to stimuli like a ringing bell or being undressed
- At age 1: each baby’s attachment style with their mother was assessed using the classic attachment rating process
- At 18–24 months: children were observed in an unfamiliar environment to see how they responded
- Result — secure attachment: irritable/difficult babies with secure attachment became more sociable and engaged than average
- Result — insecure attachment: irritable/difficult babies with insecure attachment became less sociable and more withdrawn
- Interestingly, for toddlers who were only moderately irritable as infants, the quality of attachment with their mothers had little influence on their sociability or willingness to engage with the new environment
Related reading: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the 4 Attachment Styles
So basically what this study tells us is that children who are highly irritable or are a difficult baby are more vulnerable to the role of parental influence. If parents are responsive to them they have as much (or perhaps greater) likelihood to grow into sociable, engaged toddlers. However, these “difficult” babies are also more vulnerable to a lack of parent responsiveness and if this need is not met they are also more likely to be withdrawn or less sociable as toddlers.
This topic is so important because often times I think parents consider their child’s temperament as something permanent or something that they have little influence over. Based on the research that’s coming out, it’s looking like temperament is more like a moderating factor. It may affect how susceptible a child is to the outside environment, including parenting 
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Does a “Difficult” Baby Become a “Difficult” Child?
I think a lot about this topic because I worry about all the babies out there who are considered “difficult” or have an irritable temperament. They often put more of a strain on parents—they require hours of holding, rocking, and soothing and as a parent, you may wonder if you can keep it up. I worry that many parents or caregivers will simply think the child has a “bad” temperament and not see the positive characteristics the baby or child has to offer.
After reading the research, I have begun to see babies labeled as having a “difficult” temperament as having great promise for being outgoing, well-adjusted children. These babies seem to be the most sensitive to parents’ behavior and reactions, even more so than “easy” babies.
Thus, while these babies may require more effort and attention, the amount of influence parents and caregivers have on these babies is also greater. There is something lovely in thinking about an irritable/fussy baby who turns into a well-adjusted, sociable toddler and this can be in large part due to attentive, responsive parents.
Want to learn more about temperament and how it influences your parenting? Get your toolkit and learn how to parent with your child’s temperament.
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So if you are a parent of an irritable infant, take heart! All the effort you are putting forth for your child really is worth it (as if you had any doubt). In a year or so, you may begin to see an adventurous, engaging toddler emerge in your midst.
Related reading: Difficult Temperament ≠ A Child Destined for Problems: Good Parenting is Key
Frequently Asked Questions About Baby Temperament
No. Temperament is largely innate, not caused by parenting. What parents do influence is how that temperament develops over time. Responsive, attentive parenting helps difficult babies thrive just as much as, or more than, it helps easygoing babies.
Yes. Research following irritable infants over time found that with secure, responsive parenting, they were just as likely — sometimes more likely — to become sociable, well-adjusted toddlers as babies with easier temperaments.
Parenting doesn’t change a baby’s underlying temperament, but it strongly shapes how that temperament plays out in behavior. Difficult babies appear to be more sensitive to parenting quality than easygoing babies, meaning responsive care has an outsized positive effect, and inconsistent care has an outsized negative effect.
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