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Naughty and Nice: The Origins of Compassion

Social-Emotional Development · December 17, 2015

With the holiday season upon us, I’m thinking about compassion today. As parents, most of want to instill an understanding of compassion and kindness towards others in our children. It raises the question, however, of whether compassion is innate or learned. What research tells us is that we humans do have a tendency toward compassion but it has to be fostered and practiced.

I explore this more in my post at Notes on Parenting. But first, consider this video in which babies seems to understand the difference between naughty and nice characters.

Amazing isn’t it? Based on studies like these, researchers believe that children do have some innate sense of good and bad. To keep this sense of kindness and foster compassionate acts, we have to reinforce and promote it in our homes and schools.

Again, research can inform this process too. Harvard’s Making Caring Common project tells us what we probably already know, but many of us have trouble practicing: parents’ example is far more powerful than our words.

  • Kids learn kindness best by watching our example. 
  • Our modeling needs to come in the form of both: (1) kind acts towards others and (2) modeling how to control difficult emotions like anger that often provoke unkind acts
  • Kids need to practice being kind to become good at it–just like learning a new language or a new sport
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.  -Aesop

Filed Under: Social-Emotional Development Tagged With: Uncategorized

Amy Webb, Ph.D.

Writer and mom of two who brings academic child development and parenting information into the lives of ordinary parents who can use it in their daily lives.

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Amy Webb
As a mom of two young boys, I've seen first-hand how research-based child development information, combined with intuition, can guide you through your parenting journey. Although I have a Ph.D.in Human Development and Family Sciences, many of my real parenting discoveries have come through my experience. I believe parenting with confidence comes from knowledge; parenting with grace comes from insight. Join me on this parenting journey of learning and discovery

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